A new chapter!

Not so long ago I have had this realization that there is no one more important in my life than myself. I really tried to look out in the world to seek approval or simply have someone to admire me, love me in its true sense. Although there is no lack of love in my life, I have probably been looking for some secure love where I could be vulnerable and myself, where I wouldn’t be afraid of getting judged for who I am as a person.

This run away, this escape from myself start to feel like a burden sometimes, may be in this pandemic if I am to be specific. I come to this sense now I am my own home and I should not look for ways to pick someone to prove my worth. There is always someone who wants to complete himself or herself through me, and being the empath I am I would go an extra mile to make that happen. But that action seems to be costing my own peace of mind, a lot of heart breaks happened on the way.

I now want to live for myself. I now want to count all my blessings and sacrifice my love and heart for those who are not after filling their own voids at a price that I can only for them. I life’s worth is not any less.


September in photo

A ladies’ gym in a small town in Saudi Arabia. A gym is called a gym now but back in the days, say about 5 years ago, they were known as “Beauty clinics”. Women openly going to the gym and working out were not somethings considered important back then. Five years down, this small city I live in and call home is full of fitness centers and some of them are even franchised. Everything is changing, and most importantly now, a woman doesn’t need the society to tell her how she needs to do things or simply life her life. -Al Hasa, KSA


This Empath!

It’s like first I have to undo all the emotions, pains and mostly the stories I have heard from people for all these people. I feel so exhausted. It’s like I have to undo everything that I have ever listened to. It’s like I want to erase the past from the present and not take it to the future. But I don’t know where to begin this new journey of my heart.

I have always been a stronger, intuitive person. I have taken a mountain of sorrows (joy too) from people’s daily lives and I made myself a good listener through it all. But now I feel weaker. I feel I don’t want to hear any pains or stories of people’s sufferings. I valued their pains, but devalued my own if I could remember it correctly.

It sounds selfish. I get it. But the truth of the matter is that I am drained so much from my past. The emptiness that I feel by giving all of me to all of the people around would never going to end. I feel I am in a trap of doing this, and I so want to get it out of it.

I want to create a life where I can listen to myself first, and I take care of my pains first.