Take it slow

IMG_9145Given so much that sometimes I take a step back and estimate if it’s worth it or not. Draining myself in giving appears to be an indulgence that sometimes I am just scared of myself thinking of the extent to which I could be “all-giving” to everyone around me. I don’t of course expect a return but I don’t also want anyone to take advantage of how naively I might interpret things and contribute to the cause. It is not the monetary side to it that bothers me rather the emotional nuances involved bring me miseries. Like love I now try to give in moderation even in charity. After that I leave it to God to make it a blessing for everyone.


My Calm


I felt a strange kind of calmness today, it is as if I finally came to know the truth of my existence in ways that weren’t very specific in my occasional foggy mind before. It’s been too long I have been seeking an explanation to my existence, there was no place on earth that I didn’t make my own home to feel really HOME. Years after years I was proved wrong when I searched for the physical home. I told myself “I would know if it’s my home when I will feel at ease”; I thought to myself that perhaps my connection with the geography and people would intertwine and I would feel attached again with that place like the way I used to feel when I was a child. Today I didn’t feel that kind of attachment even when I was in my old “happy” place, it feels like the new natural is my new-familiar home where I should surrender my soul and become one to every bit of my existence. That’s probably how my search will come to an end, after moving away from the old.