there will be someone and then –
for a little loving attention
you don’t have to remind yourself
you are a woman every day, not
just on special occasions.
It’s like first I have to undo all the emotions, pains and mostly the stories I have heard from people for all these people. I feel so exhausted. It’s like I have to undo everything that I have ever listened to. It’s like I want to erase the past from the present and not take it to the future. But I don’t know where to begin this new journey of my heart.
I have always been a stronger, intuitive person. I have taken a mountain of sorrows (joy too) from people’s daily lives and I made myself a good listener through it all. But now I feel weaker. I feel I don’t want to hear any pains or stories of people’s sufferings. I valued their pains, but devalued my own if I could remember it correctly.
It sounds selfish. I get it. But the truth of the matter is that I am drained so much from my past. The emptiness that I feel by giving all of me to all of the people around would never going to end. I feel I am in a trap of doing this, and I so want to get it out of it.
I want to create a life where I can listen to myself first, and I take care of my pains first.